I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
