i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
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