I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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