This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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