what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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