at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I would fuck him just for his dog
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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