yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I love you.
Bad choice
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
