But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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