I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
