I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
