I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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