she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Someone shattered a urinal.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
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if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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