I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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