Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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