so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Fuck appropriateness.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
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All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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