just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
