I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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