I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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