Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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