Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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