the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
