So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
