I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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