I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
They have beer where we have blood.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
