i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
