And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
