he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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