i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
