hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
