I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
