Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize