Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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