Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize