i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
