Define "chronic" masturbator.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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