My hand turned me down
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
