My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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