Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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