why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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