so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
