He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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