My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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