She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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