You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I party with great urgency now.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
