you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
