So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
