I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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