If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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