8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
