i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
