Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So squirting runs in the family.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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