I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize