Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
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I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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