yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
