im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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