So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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