i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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