i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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