I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
