i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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