I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
