what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
