who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
