Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
love makes seman taste better
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's like heaven, but drunker
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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