just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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