I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
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