she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
