Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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